tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post7746390620070788055..comments2023-10-31T12:58:36.729+01:00Comments on Evil HR Lady: The WifeSuzanne Lucashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07129772885673695447noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-90176172565733999322010-01-07T16:30:41.332+01:002010-01-07T16:30:41.332+01:00Cousin Vito - LMAO.
Only thing I could think to d...Cousin Vito - LMAO.<br /><br />Only thing I could think to do would be to annonymously present a list of factual, neutrally-stated greivances to all the partners. Although it seems inconceivable that the other partners and the husband are unaware of the problems with Dee, it's very possible they have no idea of the extent of it. <br />With any luck, it could at least get a conversation started. Perhaps the HR partner is secretly hoping the other partners will force the issue so he can go to his wife and say "I'm sorry, but I was outvoted." <br />I'm sure he has to be in quite a conundrum, embarrassed, but unable to do anything for fear of what she'd be like if he fired her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-44901955140850895282009-12-14T22:24:41.950+01:002009-12-14T22:24:41.950+01:00If what the LW saying is true, here is what I woul...If what the LW saying is true, here is what I would do.<br /><br />Ask Dee if you could speak with her in one of the conference rooms and in a quiet and non-threatening voice say, "I know you've been talking S**T about me. Your behavior has caused my work and others to suffer. This has to stop now. If this continues, I will kill you. Make no mistake, I am threatening to murder you. If you bring this up to anyone, I will deny it. They won't believe you because everyone knows I am good and you are an evil b*tch. Got it?" And then calmly walk away.Cousin Vitonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-65951543998128329492009-12-11T08:39:11.262+01:002009-12-11T08:39:11.262+01:00EHRL gets it - impersonal and factual is the path ...EHRL gets it - impersonal and factual is the path to walk through this mess. And I think the comment about polishing up your resume is wise also. I'd polish up my network as a good fall-back.Marsha Keefferhttp://mintresumes.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-3811635262753641352009-12-11T01:45:53.776+01:002009-12-11T01:45:53.776+01:00I like HHP2K's idea a lot--see if you can find...I like HHP2K's idea a lot--see if you can find something else to keep her absorbed with. It's always easier to give a critter something else to do than teach it not to do the bad thing :).Janenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-46021366396863661532009-12-09T20:10:20.768+01:002009-12-09T20:10:20.768+01:00HR Lady's advice is spot on. I don't think...HR Lady's advice is spot on. I don't think the confrontational route will work. People like Dee know how to push your buttons to the point that you end up looking bad. You can't make the others follow your lead, however you can stand up to Dee to the point of getting her to leave you alone.Kingsley Tagbo, IT Career Coachhttp://www.it-career-coach.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-9270729832432237702009-12-09T16:13:44.779+01:002009-12-09T16:13:44.779+01:00Evil...you did it again...You should write a book ...Evil...you did it again...You should write a book about crazy people at the work place.Frank Salinasnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-62370195986822280442009-12-08T23:52:42.971+01:002009-12-08T23:52:42.971+01:00Completely agree with EHRL's advice. People li...Completely agree with EHRL's advice. People like this thrive because nobody will face them down, and the reason nobody will face them down is they are scared of their reaction and would rather deal with the drip-drip of this behaviour than risk open conflict. Calm, assertive, fact-oriented responses are the only way to deal with this and if everyone does it, she really has nowhere to go - and complaining about it will make her look like an idiot, not you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-40560483883524342772009-12-08T23:17:24.516+01:002009-12-08T23:17:24.516+01:00Great advice! There's often only so much mana...Great advice! There's often only so much managers can do about interpersonal relationships and in this case, since she's a wife, there's even less. Your advice is not easy to follow but it is excellent!Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17519295636578048444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-44174680837504868412009-12-08T20:20:10.495+01:002009-12-08T20:20:10.495+01:00I agree completely with EHRL. The best way to go i...I agree completely with EHRL. The best way to go is direct, calm, and above all emotion. Going again to the bosses is pointless (plus it puts you a direct line of fire). To be passive aggressive or emotional in return to Dee will just give her ammunition and fuel her love of drama.<br />The best thing to do is deal with her in an unexpected way. Direct, clear, unafraid, and undramatic. Best best case scenario is she changes her behavior, next best is that your co-workers follow your example and stop indulging her drama (and she remains a moron). Likely scenario is you'll just end up looking professional and she'll continue to look like a bad employee. But with remaining completely direct and calm you cannot be at fault. Excellent advice from EHRL.<br /><br />I feel for the husband...masochist?Theiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05134619610089895685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-90754871774537821342009-12-08T17:58:21.404+01:002009-12-08T17:58:21.404+01:00Find another job. Go about it quietly and confiden...Find another job. Go about it quietly and confidentially. But get out! You won't believe how much better you & empowered you will feel.<br /><br />Been there. Done that!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-42595606606317061532009-12-08T15:43:31.349+01:002009-12-08T15:43:31.349+01:00I tend to err toward the confrontational in situat...I tend to err toward the confrontational in situations like this. I'd probably go to the husband and say "We've lost six staff over this, she's making good people's lives miserable, and everyone's sense is that she only gets away with it because she's your wife. Is that a deliberate decision from you, or is there a way to put a stop to this so the rest of us can focus on our work?"<br /><br />And I'd probably say it to the other partners too.<br /><br />They deserve to be confronted with the reality of what they're allowing.Ask a Managerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05281942480230532899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33004692.post-51871827829271579222009-12-08T14:51:42.104+01:002009-12-08T14:51:42.104+01:00If I was in such a situation, I would try to talk ...If I was in such a situation, I would try to talk to the boss about Dee's interests. This woman seems to get some feeling of importance out of condemning her coworkers - so if I had an idea of what her interests were, and spoke to her about them earnestly and with interest, I might be able to shift her method of feeling important away from criticizing others and onto the better parts of Dee. You never know - shifting her perception of importance in such a way might create a monumental shift in her attitude towards not only you, but the rest of her coworkers, would increase her productivity (because she's not fuming over every little thing anymore), and eliminate the tension felt by his boss, who therefore has more mental clarity to do his work. <br /><br />What do you think?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09941886745384528376noreply@blogger.com