When HR is the Problem

I'm the Controller for a small, but, what used to be, rapidly growing firm, 135 employees total. We've always had weak HR, but our recently hired VP of HR seems to take the cake--or at least want to make cake. We have equity problems, no performance appraisal system, high turnover and low morale. His solution for turnover? Recruit more, through offering candidates wine and cheese. His solution for low employee morale? Inviting employees to the parking lot for a tail gate party that includes a keg of beer. His solution for equity issues? If you come and whine about your salary, you can--more often than not--get a raise. Sometimes this even occurs before I know about it, via verbal promises made to employees before I get the paperwork to approve the transaction. These actions seem to be the rule, rather than the exception. When I’ve posed the question to him about where to pull these additional monies he’s throwing around, his response is “You can always find extra cash.”

I'm the bad guy because I put the financial kibosh on many of his expensive alcohol fueled ideas. He makes people "feel good" and is a real cheerleader. Yet, none of the longstanding problems are getting solved. I’m looking out for the company by getting the proper insurance in place to protect us from his stupidity/increased exposure resulting from the above events. I don’t know what has to happen for the company to realize that our HR dept is paving the way for our ultimate downfall. I mean, HR is supposed to be the dept who would normally be expressing concerns about these types of activities, right?

Any thoughts or advice on properly handling, or at least, better coping with this situation would be much appreciated.

Somehow it hadn't occurred to me that I should be planning keg parties in the parking lot. Perhaps I am not ready for a VP position, like I previously thought.

Alcohol and business, in my humble opinion is a bad idea. Some people can handle a beer in a business setting. Others get sloshed, drive home drunk, crash and the company gets sued.

But, you know all this. Your problem is with the HR VP. I wish I could give you some secret "HR" words that you could say to this guy and have him go, "Ohhh! What I should be doing is working on pay equity issues!"

I am hoping my brilliant colleagues will weigh in on this, but in the mean time I'm going to give it my best shot.

You are the controller. You speak about dollars. Your CEO should be able to speak that language. The HR VP--hard to tell. Some can speak in financial terms, some cannot. (I suspect you have the latter.)

When presented with another one of his plans, ask, "What's the ROI on this one, Bob?" He'll probably look at your blankly. (Note, not saying all HR people would look at you blankly, but I suspect this isn't the guy's strong suit.) He'll defend his position. Say, "Sounds like fun, but what do you expect to get out of this?"

Make him come out with the expected result. "Everyone will have a good time?" will probably be the expected result of the tail gate party. You can counter, "It will cost us X for the added insurance, Y for the actual cost of the party and Z for taxis to get people home. Having a good time isn't enough. How do you expect this to reduce turnover? Have people been complaining about the lack of beer at work?"

Okay, so the last sentence is probably over the top. (Of course, yes, people have been complaining about the lack of beer at work. Not me, by the way, I don't drink.)

When he wants to give someone a raise (unless it's you, of course--we do have our priorities here) ask this question. "How are you going to make sure this is equitable? Did you know that males are more likely to ask for raises than females. Therefore, if our compensation structure is based on people asking, you're going to end up with skewed salaries--with men making more than women who are performing the same jobs. I'm not sure we have the financial ability to pay out on the inevitable law suits."

Stop trying to tell him what he can and cannot do. Just make him justify his position to you in financial terms. He'll either learn how to do it--and will start to see the folly of his ways--or the CEO will see that he can't justify his own projects.

It's HR people like this that really chap my hide. HR is supposed to support the business. There is a reason it's called "work" not play. Besides, who says that the employees want to spend their "play" time with people at work? I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than have a kegger.

Employees always want more money. This is true. But even more than that, they want to be respected. And trust me, you don't feel respected when you have to go beg for an increase. And even getting an asked for increase doesn't increase your warm fuzzy feelings for the company. It just leads to more negativity. (If you're willing to give me a raise when I asked, why weren't you willing to earlier? Are you just trying to pay me the least amount possible? This job stinks. I'm going to take my new salary and go apply for new jobs. Maybe I can get two increases within months!)

Don't be mean and don't be negative. Just keep asking questions. Demand explanations. And if that fails, cut his budget. (Just kidding on the last part. Ha! Ha! I love finance!)