My Last Thoughts on Alcohol

I get more questions about DUIs, public drunkenness and other similar problems than anything else. I'm not an expert in this area and I think I've pretty much said all that there is to say about it. As such, I'm not going to answer any more questions regarding "oh no, I have a DUI! Do I have to tell a prospective employer?" unless it's a really interesting question that will cause tons of people to link to me, thus increasing my hit count.

It's all about my needs.

But, here are my last thoughts.

Driving while under the influence (of alcohol or other substance) is illegal and dangerous. And stupid. I know, you were young and you were dumb and now you are so mature, blah, blah, blah, blah. I lack sympathy. Don't do it. And don't blame your decision to drive on your impaired state. Before you got impaired you were planning to drive. Why didn't you make arrangements before you got plastered?

Yes, you have to list it on your application if they ask.

Yes, it will come up in a background check.

Yes, it can affect your chances of getting a job, even if it doesn't directly involve driving. It demonstrates exceedingly poor judgment.

If you have just one conviction and it was years ago, it probably won't hurt your chances of getting a job where driving is not required.

Yes, you can petition to get your record expunged--in some states and in some circumstances. Good luck with that.

And on the general alcohol front, just because they serve alcohol at a company party (or at a party where co-workers and bosses happen to be), does not mean you can get drunk. You can't. It will affect how others think of you.

This includes your co-worker's wedding. Sure, toast the bride and groom with the champagne provided, but let the bride's brother be the drunken fool at the party, not you. Your career depends on it.

Recovering from public drunkenness that happened in front of your boss is extremely difficult.

This applies even if your boss is plastered.

Did I mention you should never, ever, ever, drink and drive? Don't. I prefer that my family and friends and I arrive alive at our destinations, so please don't do it.