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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Should I be offended?

My mother sent me this joke:
Some cannibals get a job in a big corporation on the condition that they don't eat any of the other staff. Things go very well until their boss calls them into his office one day and gives them some bad news--a janitor is missing in mysterious circumstances and the cannibals are under suspicion.

The cannibals get together after work. Their leader says, "Which of you idiots had the janitor?" One of the cannibals raises his hand.

"You idiot! For weeks we've been feasting on team leaders, project managers and human resources staff, then you go and eat someone they'll actually miss!"

18 comments:

Rodolphe Mortreuil said...

Amusing story.
However what I'll react to is your title. I've been thinking the past few months that the word "offence" now seems to carry the same strength of meaning as "hurt". It is quasi-criminal to give offence.

When has human-kind thinned-out its skin so much?

Martha said...

Funny that this rings so true in today’s downturn economy. While departments such as HR are being outsourced to Professional Employer Organization daily many business owners are realizing that this a cost effective way to keep the status quo in terms of employee related HR needs.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't be offended as this is pretty funny, but one could speculate as to the relationship you have with your mom.

MEG31 said...

Its definitely a good one. I could make a long list of some other folks we could do without....

Evil HR Lady said...

Anon--I'm totally not worried about my relationship with my mother. I think the joke is hilarious and true!

I read that if you want to avoid getting laid off, be the person that can unjam the printer/copier. Same thing.

The HR Store said...

Good one!

I'm surprised that feasting has been on for weeks even with the current trend on lay-off's!!

Anonymous said...

That's so funny! EHRL, you should not be offended, but maybe a little afraid. The cannibals may eat us!

class-factotum said...

Another way to avoid being laid off is to work for a company that doesn't make really bad decisions. That is, avoid the companies cited as the Glamor Don'ts in "From Good to Great."

If your company, whose stock price has plummeted 35% in 9 months while everyone else has decent growth, insists on tearing out the third floor offices to install an executive lunchroom above the regular cafeteria, reserves one of the four elevators just for the 3rd floor (God forbid a VP have to wait for the elevator like everyone else) and gives the CEO a $12 million bonus despite the poor performance of the company, then they might not make the most rational layoff decisions.

Just saying.

Anonymous said...

As an HR project manager, I have always lived in constant fear of the cannibals..

jaded hr rep said...

I've learned to become indispensible in HR because I've taken to coordinating lunch delivery for my boss. She doesn't eat unless I proactively ask her if she needs lunch. Pretty smooth of me...

Olivia said...

It's funny to me...but then my dad was a lawyer, who always told the best lawyer jokes. And I agree with the person who said we've all gotten too thin skinned...

Sarah said...

The other day, one of the other bloggers on the ERE network said that, if you don't want to be laid off, you should be the one who brings in donuts.

perrik said...

"Another way to avoid being laid off is to work for a company that doesn't make really bad decisions. That is, avoid the companies cited as the Glamor Don'ts in 'From Good to Great.' "

Not that being a Glamour Do in that book guarantees stability. I'm looking at you, Circuit City and Fannie Mae!

The only way to avoid being laid off is to own the company. Or bring the doughnuts. But they'd better be good doughnuts.

Dan McCarthy said...

EHRL –
Yes, as an HR professional, you should be offended. The joke shows insensitivity to cannibals and only perpetuates a negative stereotype, just like that poor Geico caveman.

Evil HR Lady said...

Dan,

You are right and I apologize.

Dave Ferguson said...

Your story reminds me of an episode in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The planet Golgafrincham was facing a catastrophe, and created three giant space arks to evacuate the population.

The B-ark was loaded first, with hairdressers, TV producers, personnel officers, telephone sanitizers, and management consultants. It was also the only ship to actually leave; the catastrophe was a ruse used by the rest of the population to get ride of these useless people.

Those left behind "led full, rich and happy lives until they were all suddenly wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone."

Patrick Williams said...

Oh, I do enjoy this blog! Of course, the fallacy is that the joke mentions "weeks" of eating HR folks - I must point out that weeks of this just might affect the payroll - surely to be noticed
- What organization these days can go weeks with HR running a layoff
- What creature can eat pure evil for weeks and not die?

Nice post!

californiagirl said...

Interesting story! I like the joke very much!