Toxic Boss

My daughter has been working for a bully. He plays associates against each other and always wants to be the good guy. She has told me that he talked to one of her colleagues(peer) about her, and the colleague came to her and let her know about it. She signs in and out on a time sheet, and if she does not take lunch, the company automatically assumes she did and deducts an hour from her day. She recently went to a trade show and was verbally told before going on site that she would only be paid for 8 hours a day.

She ended up working as a non- union laborer in a union environment, was asked to lift and perform physical duties beyond "normal" activities and was reamed out by someone, who is sleeping with the boss, but is not my daughter's direct report.

She also worked 12 hour days with no lunch breaks, and was told that it was just the way it is at trade shows. It is clear that expectations were not explained, since she is a new associate who has only been working with this firm since mid June. She is not an exempt employee. She does not supervise anyone. She was put in harm's way. These are just the highlights of her toxic employment, do you have any words of wisdom for her???

Thanks for your help!

Start looking for a new job. I know, I know, there should be some way to solve the problems of a really bad work environment. And there is, it's just that it's going to take a long time and if Senior Management isn't on board, well then it ain't happening.

In the mean time, if she is a non-exempt employee (as you stated) then what they are doing is highly illegal. The fines for not paying overtime are

Fine of up to $1000 per violation

6 months jail time

initial $10,000 fine for willful violations

The people to contact are the Department of Labor.

Now, some words of caution. She needs to make sure she really is a non-exempt employee. Supervising people isn't necessarily the trigger that makes people exempt. I don't know what she does, but if it's more "professional" in nature, she could be exempt, even if she has to punch a time card.

But, assuming she is eligible for overtime, there are just huge violations all over the place. Making people work off the clock will get you in a whole host of troubles.

Because she was told, "that's just how it is," she can probably expect little sympathy from her boss if she complains. But, go ahead and do it. Ask for the overtime pay owed.

If she is unionized (sounds like she is, since you mentioned non-union activities)tell her to meet with her union rep and file a grievance.

I wish I had a warm and fuzzy response, or some magic words which would "fix" the problem, but I don't. The reality is, these people violating all sorts of laws and (probably) union contracts. She's going to have to be direct and file complaints.

Most importantly though, she needs to either decide that this job is worth keeping despite all the problems or start looking for a new job. Even with the union and the DOL involved, it may take years to resolve and get owed back pay. And she may never get the back pay. The other reality is that bosses don't appreciate being ratted out and her life may get worse before it gets better.

I feel bad leaving on such a depressing note. Did you hear the one about two chickens and a pancake that walked into a bar?

The Company Owns You 24/7

Dear Evil HR Lady,

I've got a good one for you. In preparation for our company's 20th anniversary, it was decided that we will hold a draw for our clients for a trip for 2 to Las Vegas. We are sending out colorful postcards and attached to the card will be a poker chip, dice, and a chocolate coin, all wrapped in metallic foil.

Our company president has now decided that it would be a waste of company time to make these up during the work day (and who knows why we aren't hiring a temp for 2 days @ $10 / hour). Instead, she's sending each member of the sales team home with a box to make up on our own time.

She's so determined that this is the way to go that I got a voicemail from a co-worker telling me about it (I'm on holidays this week) and that she is going to deliver my box to me to do on Saturday.

I'm pissed off to say the least because the last thing that I want to do during my own time, is do anything work related. In fact, my Friday off was ruined by the voice mail message that I received at 4:30 pm. Now, instead of 2 more work-free days of rest and relaxation, I'm expected to do arts and crafts.

So what's my HR question? Can a company expect you to do this on your own time, without warning? I don't know about you, but I tend to have plans when I'm not at work. I'm tempted to not do them and simply tell them when they ask me why not "I already had plans for the weekend".

Your thoughts?

I'm confused. How is this actually a problem? Don't you just live to do meaningless tasks like this? I mean my high school psychology teacher thought it was more important for us to build bridges out of straw then it was to learn actual psychology. And then there was the time that my English teacher made us make fish out of paper because we read a poem about fish. Clearly they understood something that you just cannot understand: Arts and Crafts are fun! It is not work. It is not a waste of time. It is FUN!

Your boss is in the same category as a bridezilla, if you ask me. (It's my daaaay and you'll do what I saaaaay! Let's fill little tulle bags with color coordinated M&Ms and plus you have to pay to get your nails done so we'll all match. And if you get pregnant you are out of the wedding party. Do you hear me? O-U-T Out!)

If I were you, I just flat out wouldn't do it. I'd play dumb as well. "Oh, you wanted me to do this on Saturday? Why? Oh, well, you should have given me advance notice, as I had plans. Sorry!" Then I'd put the box of materials on my boss's desk and walk out.

But, you have to ask yourself, is your manager crazy enough about this that you could be fired for not doing the "project"? Will you be branded as "not a team player" and docked at you next performance review?

The problem with being an at will employee is that as long as it's not illegal, they can ask you to do it and can fire you if you don't. But, I seriously doubt they would do so. Especially if you are in a large company with an HR department and termination policies.

Please let us know what you did do and how it turned out.

UPDATE:
Hello Evil HR Lady,

Thank you to everyone who commented on my plight. This is what happened:

- I begrudgingly made up some of the packages late on Sunday night while watching television. I know - some of you might say that I caved in, or worse.

I finally calmed down from my anger, and realized that I do work for good people. It has been overly stressful at the office this summer and I think that the stressed breached my manager's limit on that day and this was her way of reducing her stress.

I've decided to try to be more calm and not react as quickly when something irks me. I think that will make our working environment ever so much better for everyone.

Thanks again!

PS - it turns out that the packages are too big to mail and stay within budget so we have to deliver about half of them ourselves *smiles to herself*

Policies that Result in Non-Compliance

Although this policy was not created by the HR department (of course, that is an assumption on my part), it amused me greatly:

In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission.

This makes me want to start making lists of our policies that are practically begging to be violated. But, I won't. You should, though.

E-mail

Hi,
If the e-mail seems familiar it's because I wrote you with my HSA problem. After a twisted trail through the various Government agency's, turns out no agency can enforce a voluntary contribution from your company. You have to take them to court for breech of contract.

Life is too short, so I am pursuing other opportunities. Here is my question: I have applied for some quality jobs via e-mail, with no response. I figured you win some, lose some. Then while chit chatting at break someone said most company's won't accept attached e-mail for fear (rightfully so) of viruses.

Any truth to this?
I enjoy your blog. Thanks

First off, I agree with your decision to look for new opportunities. Don't waste your life stuck at a company that doesn't respect their employees unless you absolutely have to.

I don't know about most companies not accepting attached files. I know that is how my company accepts most of our applications. We are, however, a very large company with a very large IT department and very good virus protection. Still, I can see a point.

How did you find the e-mail addresses for these companies to begin with? If it's through networking (great, good job, that's the way to do it!), you might want to put the text of your resume in your e-mail just in case they are skittish about attachments. Offer to send a version in Microsoft Word.

But, personally, I would just attach the document. If the file is JohnDoeResume.doc then (to the best of my knowledge) it's unlikely to have a virus. Viruses usually are in .exe or similar files. If there is a virus macro in the resume, word will warn you before you open it.

If you found the e-mail address on the internet, look at the "jobs" listing almost all companies have and follow their instructions on how to apply.

Good luck finding your fabulous new job!

Happy Blog Birthday!

Today is the first birthday of the Evil HR Lady Blog. (The Evil HR Lady is much older than the blog.)

So to celebrate, I am listing a few of my favorite posts. Then I'm going to submit this post to Wally for the upcoming carnival. He said he wasn't accepting shameless self promotion posts, so we'll see if this makes it.

I'm Sorry, Your Services are No Longer Needed

Performance Appraisal Anxiety

Bored With Business Travel? Try Being Wealthy!

You Didn't Ask Me, But You Should Have

Performance Appraisal? Check

Tracking

Affirmative Action

Why Are We Doing That?

What Happens When You Don't Take Care of Problems

Does HR Add Value

Title Mania

HR Detectives

Have fun reading!

Carnival Reminder

The next Carnival of Human Resources will be published August 22, hosted by Wally at Three Star Leadership.

He even made a form to make your submissions easier.

Don't let Wally's hard work on the form go to waste. Send him great submissions.

Why HR?

ma'am,
how to answer a question like why did you choose H.R. for your job

Well, why did you choose HR for your job? I don't think there is a "right" answer to your question. I will say if you say, "I chose HR because I really like working with people," the person interviewing you might burst into paroxysms of laughter.

So, to answer your question, I will pretend someone has just asked me why I chose HR for my career.

I really like people. Ha! I do. More specifically, I like training people. I entered Human Resources with the goal to be a trainer. I had strong technical skills and strong experience teaching college level classes, so I jumped in. I landed in an HRIS department and I've been in HR ever since. I've never realized my original goal of being a full time trainer, but I do conduct regular training sessions and find that works out well.

So, now I throw out the question to all my HR readers. Why did you choose HR for your career?

One More Thought

After you've finished writing up your self appraisal, update your resume. Even if you aren't even thinking about looking for a new job, update your resume.

There will never be an easier time than after you've just listed all your accomplishments.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Performance Appraisal Time! I know you are all so excited you can hardly stand it.

Yes, I realize many companies operate on a calendar year and it is August and we have 4 1/2 months left until the end of the year. I understand that. So, sometime in the month of December your boss is going to want to sit down and have a meeting with you.

So, let's calculate backwards. If your boss has to have the appraisal written by December, that means he's going to be doing the planning and writing in October/November (assuming he's not a super-procrastinator). This means you have until the end of September to do your part.

Yes, I said, do your part. Managers hate performance appraisal writing. They do. You would too (and probably do--remember, managers have managers as well). So, it is to your advantage to make it as easy as possible for your boss to write you appraisal.

The easiest way for someone to write an appraisal? Copy and paste. And we want to make sure your boss is copying and pasting from the self appraisal that you are just about to write.

Step one--pull out last year's appraisal. This is especially critical if you have the same boss as last year. Look over any goals (you've probably forgotten about them) that you had. Is there anything you haven't done yet? If so, it's only August, so make plans to accomplish those things.

Now, start making lists. For each of your objectives, list what you have done. If you haven't done enough, make notes on what you need to accomplish between now and the end of September. Many managers make the mistake of emphasizing your most recent performance, so take advantage of that fact and start shining.

Once you've gone through all your objectives, take a quick look through your sent e-mail. Are there any projects or other areas that aren't specifically covered by your objectives, but where you did valuable work? Note those as well.

You'll be surprised how much you have forgotten. Your boss has forgotten as well. It's your job to remind him.

Now that you know how wonderful you are, write it all up. If you company has a self appraisal form, use it. If they don't, then list each of you objectives and how you achieved it, as well as what you plan to do to keep shining. Then describe the "other" tasks you did.

Now, you are almost done. The next part of your appraisal is next year's objectives. You want to be in charge of these. So, write up proposed objectives and goals. Make sure you list any training classes you want to take. You boss may not know you are interested in X, Y, or Z. Now is the time to tell him.

Last of all, have a trusted co-worker read it. Why? First of all, for typos and grammar errors. Secondly, to say to you, "Hey, Bob, you said that you single handedly turned the entire sale of anvils around. Karen and Holly really helped out with that."

Why do you want that mentioned? Because first of all, teamwork is important, and secondly, managers don't appreciate it when you are pompous and take credit where you shouldn't. Yes, you want to emphasize your accomplishments. No, you don't want to make yourself out to be something you are not. That will come around and bite you.

Now, if your company has a formal self appraisal process, send an electronic copy to your manager. Why not hard copy? Because you want to make it easy for your manager to copy and paste from your document into theirs. It's easier for the manager and more likely to result in you getting a positive review.

If your company doesn't have a formal self appraisal process, tell your manager you have made a few notes about your performance for this year. And send him an electronic copy.

Will this method guarantee a good review? No. But it will remind your manager of everything you've done throughout the year, not just the things you did the week before the dreaded appraisal is written.

The Definitive Job Hunt

Rowan Manahan has listed all the links in his Definitive Job Hunt writing project.

I cannot stress how important reading all of these things is to you job seekers. These people KNOW what they are talking about. Go over there and read it. Maybe even bookmark it.

You will not regret it.

New Career at 52

Hello Evil HR lady,

I need your expert advice. Should someone at age 52 go to college (online) to get an associates degree in HR? Is it unrealistic to think I have a good opportunity to gain employment in this field? I do value your opinion!

Thanks for listening.

Yes, and no. It depends on how much money it costs to go to the online college and what other experience you have.

I imagine that the online school will be fairly inexpensive in which case go for it! (If it's Harvard online and you're paying $30,000 for the privilege, forget it.)

HR is a great field, but it's not a super high paying field. Entry level jobs are usually administrative assistants (don't knock it people, you can learn a ton in such a job) or low level staffing jobs.

Many companies require a 4 year degree, but many don't. Get your associates degree and find a good job. Then keep going in school.

I don't think age should be a hindrance to your career. At 52 you have some experience (with life at least, if not a career)and (hopefully) some level of maturity. Even if you plan to retire right at 65, you've still got 13 years to work. (And many people are working well past 65 these days.) Why wouldn't I hire someone under those conditions?

Good luck with school. Do your homework on time and be nice to your teachers.

Overqualified

Dear Evil HR Lady,

I recently contacted you to ask about interview delays. I am in the process of a career change and I am seeking my first paralegal position. Well the firm that I told you about finally interviewed me last week. I received a call from HR explaining that the attorneys who interviewed me thought I was overqualified!! I have a BS and a MS degree.I explained that I am trying to gain experience as a paralegal and I feel like their firm would be a good starting place. The HR manager said that they are in the middle of a crunch and that they would not hire until after August 17 and that they are willing to reconsider my application. In the mean time I will keep applying with other firms. What do you think? Is there a chance they could still hire me? Are they politely rejecting me?

Thanks for your time.

There is always a chance for everything, so it doesn't hurt to keep that stick in the fire, but most likely they are politely rejecting you. Maybe not, though, so don't give up hope--just don't count on this.

The problem is as they told you--you are overqualified for the job. This can be about them most frustrating thing a job seeker can be told. You want the job. You need the job. You're qualified for the job. And they don't hire you because you are too smart or too experienced.

I will tell you why I am afraid of hiring "overqualified" people.

1. You'll get bored. If you have a PhD in astro-physics and you tell me that you want to be my admin, I'm pretty sure that you'll be bored to tears. This doesn't mean you aren't capable of doing the job, just that you'll be so bored you'll be miserable. And miserable people are no fun to work with.

2. You'll be constantly looking for a new job. Job hunting, as we all know, is a huge pain and it takes time. And the time it takes is usually during business hours. This means you'll be calling in "sick" or taking "personal days" with short notice so you can go on interviews. This leaves me short handed and worse leads to problem 3.

3. You'll quit. Eventually, everyone quits (or gets fired), but an overqualified person has more incentives to quit, and is more likely to find a better job sooner rather than later. Then I've got to go through the whole hassle and expense of hiring a replacement.

So, now you know why, let me help you overcome this. You want to change careers, not just jobs, so you may appear to be overqualified, but you really do want the job you are looking for. This, you have to convey.

You said, "I explained that I am trying to gain experience as a paralegal and I feel like their firm would be a good starting place." This screams flags 2 and 3 to me. What you need to say is, "I really want to be a paralegal. I've done X and I've done Y and I've now been certified as a paralegal (is there such a thing? I don't know) and I'm ready to jump in and go to work. Your firm has a great reputation and I'd love to be a part of the Begge, Borrow and Steel team."

You need to convince the interviewer that you want this job at this company. Not that you want a job at a company. You also don't want to fall into the "I only want to gain experience from your firm and then write my tell-all book about how lawyers really operate" trap. Remember, in a job search, it's all about the company until the offer is made. Then it becomes all about you and your needs.

Good luck, and this law firm may be salvageable. August 17 is coming up, so make sure to follow up.

HR Detectives

FMLA. It seems like a nice idea, right? You have a baby, or break your leg, or get pneumonia--or the same happens to your spouse, parent or child, and you get 12 weeks off work. Great. Right?

Sure, in theory and if you aren't responsible to track and verify the FMLA leave. (Which can either be granted in a large chunk or taken intermittently for various problems.) And all of us HR types know that we can trust employees 100%, right?

Except when we can't. But that's okay, because FMLA requires a doctor's approval. And we can always trust doctors, except when we can't. Or when they are fake doctors.

Sick of working? A virtual fake doctor is eager to prescribe the cure. MyExcusedAbsence.com proclaims it has the answers to getting 40 hours of pay without the work, to clocking in and out and beating the clock, and to getting a doctor's note without the hassle of getting an appointment. The Web site offers five templates for excuse notes ranging from funeral to medical evaluation to an ER visit -- all for $24.95.

Now, the people at that lovely website forgot that not all medical leave is paid leave, so oops! They are encouraging dishonesty and they didn't do their research.

Oh well. And now, a story. Once upon a time, I was in graduate school and I was teaching summer undergraduate courses. I had a student come to me the day before the midterm for a class and beg to add it. I am a huge sucker so I told her that if the university would approve it and if she passed the midterm, I would allow her to add the class. (Passing the midterm shouldn't have been a huge deal--she was a senior and the class was Political Science 100. Theoretically her upper division classes should have covered most of the material in greater depth.)

She thanked me profusely and then didn't show up to take the midterm. Eh, no skin of my nose. That course ended and the second course of the summer began. This student appeared on my class roll. Now, these were block classes, so we met twice a week and each class was three hours long. Missing one night was like missing an entire week during a regular semester.

She missed the first class and showed up at the second. I required everyone to do a project and she signed up.

I didn't see her again until the day before her scheduled presentation. She'd been in a car accident a few weeks ago and she was injured and in the hospital and could she please have some additional time. Umm, okay. Car accidents stink and she did look pretty beat up.

She disappears and I don't see her again until the day of the final. Can she please, please, please have an incomplete? She's already been accepted to graduate school and she needs one more political science class to graduate. Please? Please? Please?

I've ceased trusting her, but what can I say, I'm nice. So, I draw up a list of the requirements for making up the incomplete and have her sign it. She must write one 2 page paper for each of the topics we covered and the first will be due next Friday.

Friday comes and goes and no paper. The next Friday she comes in breathlessly and turns in the first paper with an apology and a doctor's note. She's been sick. She has, in fact, cancer and the doctor's note states this. So, so sad. Can she have more time?

"You must write all the papers or you will fail the class," I say. But, I am compassionate. She has cancer.

The paper was the absolute worst paper I have ever read, and I have read some doozies. No coherent thoughts. No coherent grammar. Bleh.

She turns in 4 or 5 papers, all of the same abysmal quality. Then she disappears again. I turn in her final grade--an F.

On the same day as grades are due, I get a fax from her doctor's office. She has cancer, remember? She's in the hospital. She's in a coma! How can I fail a cancer patient in a coma? I'm compassionate. I'm loving. I'm a good person! I feel terrible. So, I change her grade to a C.

I tell my colleague about the saga. "Can you believe it? This poor girl in my class is dying. She's in a coma! And I almost flunked her."

My colleague calmly looks at the fax and says, "Uhh, it says it's from Mount Siani Medical Center. That should be spelled S-I-N-A-I. And look at the fax information on the bottom. It was faxed from Kinko's. I think Mount Sinai medical center actually has their own fax machines and could fax it from there."

Uhh, duh. Then it hit me. You are sick, you are dying, and as you slip into a coma, you say to your doctor, "Please, just send a fax to my political science professor and tell her that I'm here. Please, the last thing I want to do before I die is get a passing grade in Women in Politics."

Before I flunked her sorry little self, I did call Mount Sinai medical center and asked to speak to the doctor listed. No such person.

Can you say big, fat, F?

Surprisingly, she never complained about the grade. Maybe she never woke up from the coma.

(hat tip Overlawyered)

I Am Not a Lawyer; But I May be Insane

This is true. And over at HRO Manager I explain some things about HR and the Law.

Jump over there and read it.

And when you are done jumping over there, the new Carnival of the Insanities is up over at Dr. Sanity's place. If you look hard enough, you'll find a link back to our friend, Lego Man.

Past Mistakes

Dear Evil HR Lady,

SO glad I stumbled across your website, as I need some direction.

5 years ago and fresh out of college, I got a DUI. I did not learn my lesson, because in March of 2006, I got a second after happy hour w/ a client.

Long story, short, it was both a nightmare and an eye-opening experience. I did a mandatory 5 day jail sentence, completed numerous hours of community service and alcohol-related classes, and lost my drivers license for one year. Although it was one of the most challenging times of my life, it could have been worse. My company kept me on board (I'm in sales---I hired a driver for 12 months so I could continue to perform my job), and I truly learned from, and am a different person from the experience.

My question is this: I'm currently interviewing for a different high-profile sales job w/ a different publishing company, and I'm about 48 hours away from an offer. I have not yet mentioned anything about my record, because I haven't yet filled out any formal paperwork. A background check hasn't been conducted, but I know it's in the cards.

Do I have a chance?

I'd like to know:

1. What my chances are of being employed at a company w/ two DUIs under my belt.
2. When I should bring everything up. I've always felt that being up front is what's best, but I'm not sure when/and how to address all of this.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts,

Learned from my mistakes...the second time around.

This is a very good question. Legally, you cannot discriminate against someone because of a past conviction that is unrelated to the job.

The problem is, defining related to the job. 2 DUI convictions doesn't exactly add gold stars to your resume, as you well know. (And as a side note, I hope you have stopped drinking altogether. You've proven you lack judgment when drunk.)


Here is a copy of the EEOC's Guidelines on Conviction Records. Three things a company must consider

1. The nature and gravity of the offense or offenses;
2. The time that has passed since the conviction and/or completion of the sentence; and
3. The nature of the job held or sought.

Here is your advantage: You feel like you are close to an offer and they haven't asked you to fill out an application.


Here is your disadvantage: The job is in sales and while I am in no way representing this as the absolute truth and I could be completely wrong here (remember, Evil HR Lady is not a lawyer and does not do hiring) (Do I have enough disclaimers here?), but I think a company could successfully argue that a DUI is related to a sales job because of the driving involved.

Now, here's the tricky part. If they make you an offer and THEN they have you fill out an application or conduct a background check they are in the awkward position of having to say, "we are not hiring you because of your DUI convictions." As I said, I'm no expert in this area, but the burden would be on them to prove that it's job related.

Here's my advice. I do not think this is something you needed to put on your resume, so I think you are fine there. (Note to HR types: Have people fill out an application which asks about convictions prior to conducting interviews.) But, when they make you an offer, it will undoubtedly be contingent on a background check, reference check and drug screen. (And if it's not, boy the HR department in the prospective company is asking for trouble.) At this point you tell them about your DUI conviction.

And you tell them what you told me. Tell them that you hired a driver to do your job. Tell them that you don't drink any more. (Only if this is true. I'm hoping that it's true.)

The thing you don't want to have happen is for them to find out through the background check about your DUI. You do want to be upfront about this. I would tell them even if they don't say they are going to run a background check. Why? Because they will find out anyway. Secrets like that are not easily kept. And even if it's their own darn fault for not knowing (since they didn't have you fill out an application), they'll hold it against you.

So, will this affect your chances of getting the job? Yes. Does it guarantee that they won't hire you? No. Do people realize how a mistake such as this can have devastating effects on every aspect of your life for years to come? No.

Here is someone else's thoughts on DUI convictions:

The denial of employment for a DUI conviction, specifically, always seems to be a gray area. How many times did one drive drunk to get convicted? How many convictions does it take to deny someone a job based on character? If the applicant answered the DUI question no and the background check shows them to have lied, then the issue of character goes not to the DUI, but to the falsification of the employment application.

I know I have readers out there who are experts in this type of area. Hopefully they will offer you some guidance in the comments.

Good luck.

What's in a Wrapper, er, Title

From the Houston Chronicle:

CHICAGO — Anything made by McDonald's tastes better, preschoolers said in a study that powerfully demonstrates how advertising can trick the taste buds of young children.

Even carrots, milk and apple juice tasted better to the kids if it was wrapped in the familiar packaging of the Golden Arches.

The study had youngsters sample identical McDonald's foods in name-brand or unmarked wrappers. The unmarked foods always lost the taste test.

Yes, you say, this study was about the influence of marketing on toddlers. We are not toddlers. We are adults and we are above such things.

Are we?

Let's say you are in a meeting. Joe, the intern has an idea. Everyone immediately rejects the idea. Two days later, Karen the VP makes the same suggestion. Suddenly it's the best thing since sliced bread and everyone is immediately on board.

It's not the idea that changed, it was the wrapper.

Companies hire consulting firms to tell them things that their people have been screaming about for years. Sr. Management doesn't listen when it is Jose from accounting and Linda in accounts receivable, but when it's Steve from Big Named Consulting Firm that interviews Jose and Linda and reports the information back, suddenly it's believable and actionable.

Why do we do this? Well, there are some good reasons and some bad reasons.

Good reason is that Joe, the intern, is an unknown quantity. He doesn't have a great deal of experience (he's an intern, after all), while Karen is a VP and your boss's boss. She wouldn't have gotten to that position if she didn't have great ideas. Right? Of course, it doesn't hurt your career to suck up to Karen and championing the ideas of Joe the intern could hurt you if other people aren't on board.

But what about Steve, our consultant. Do you know who consulting firms hire? People straight out of school. Joe is straight out of school as well. But, we listen to Steve the consultant because he has the title and the backing and the resources.

Those resources are helpful. But, it would be cheaper to ask Jose and Linda who do the job what problems they see and what potential solutions they think are possible. If you get nothing back, then it's time to spend money to hire someone. But, if you do and you ignore it, just know that there's a pretty good chance you'll get the same answer back from your expensive consultant.

The difference? Instead of an e-mail with 3 bullet points from some chic named Linda in accounts payable, you get a fancy power point presentation from a guy in a suit. Same hamburger, different wrapper.

Now, I'm not arguing that the intern's ideas are always as good as the VPs. And I'm not arguing that the highly paid consultant is just repeating back what the accounts payable clerk said. What I'm arguing is that by only looking at the wrapper the idea comes in, you can end up missing some pretty good hamburgers and choking down some that don't taste so great.

Evaluate ideas on their merit. Listen to people who actually do the job. You might be surprised.

There is No Need for This Post

 

Giant Lego Man Found in Dutch Sea

I keep trying to come up with some HR related thing to say about it. I keep failing.

Carnival of HR #13

Is up over at Compensation Force. Since it's the 13th Carnival, Ann has managed to get exactly 13 posts and talks about being either lucky or unlucky.

Do you think it is just coincidence that Satan's new training brochure came out at the same time as the 13th Carnival of HR? I told you HR was evil.

The August 22nd Carnival will be hosted by Wally Bock at Three Star Leadership.

The September 5th Carnival will be hosted by Rowan Manahan at Fortify Your Oasis.

The September 19th Carnival will be hosted by Evil HR Lady at, well, Evil HR Lady.

The October 3rd Carnival will be hosted by Natalie Cooper at Personnel Today.

The October 17th Carnival will be hosted by Kris Dunn at HR Capitalist

The Spooky October 31st Carnival will be hosted by HRO Manager at HRO Manager

The November 14th Carnival will be hosted by Patrick Williams at Guerilla HR

The November 28th Carnival will be hosted by Carmen Van Kerckhove at Race in the Workplace

The December 12th Carnival will be hosted by Wayne Turmel (the Cranky Middle Manager)at Management Issues

The December 26th Carnival will be hosted by Ann Bares at Compensation Force.

The January 9th Carnival will be hosted by Ask a Manager at Ask a Manager.

The January 23rd Carnival will be hosted by Deb at HR Thoughts.

The February 6th Carnival will be hosted by Susan Heathfield at About Human Resources.
We're always accepting new hosts--and old hosts to host again. So send me an e-mail at evilhrlady at hotmail dot com if you are interested.

Satan's Training Brochure

You knew Satan runs a training company, right? Well, his fall brochure is out. Fortunately, our friend, The Cranky Middle Manager has posted a copy.

I think I'll take this class:

3. Communicating With Difficult People- How to Avoid It

What you'll learn: Business is full of people you don't enjoy working with. Trying simply wastes limited time. In this one-day experiential workshop you'll master:
Email obfuscation: burying action items among detail, using re: please clean the lunchroom as a subject line for critical messages and other ways to avoid actually talking to the person while maintaining you sent the message

Timing voicemail: dealing with people is so much easier when you can leave messages rather than answer questions or hear their annoying voice. Job aids include tracking the other party's lunch time, and average arrival/departure schedule

You all should take it with me.

Secretary and IT

We're thinking of having one of our secretaries handle the internal/desk top support for our office. We are a small firm that pays a quarterly consulting fee to an IT firm. The secretary's time would be split 50/50 between IT and secretary. The secretary would be responsible for all desk top issues, working with the IT firm on servers, upgrades, security, etc. The secretary we have in mind makes approximately $29/hr and will work more than 40 hrs/week most of the time.

Exempt or non-exempt? I'm thinking the non-exempt status for the secretarial duties will keep her in a non-exempt status even with the new IT duties?

Your question is actually more complicated than it looks. There is no set ratio of "exempt" to "non-exempt" duties that determines your classification. Most everyone has some sort of duty, that if it were a full job, would be considered non-exempt. I, for instance, open my own mail and do my own filing. But, this is about 10 minutes a day, so not cause to make me non-exempt.

I did find this list of jobs to help you determine exempt/non-exempt jobs. Isn't the internet fabulous?

Scrolling down I find a link to help for computer related jobs that takes you through a series of questions to help answer your question!

Wow. I'm really impressed now. Of course, being the pessimist that I am, there is probably some disclaimer at the bottom of the page that says, "using this method to determine exemption is not a valid defense in face of an audit."

But, your person is still 50% in a job that is clearly non-exempt, so I would have to advise you to stay on the safe side and keep her classification non-exempt. It's better to be safe than sorry, and I think you'd have a hard time defending a position that was 50% administrative.

But, thanks for asking your question. I've now found a really cool tool. And let's face it, this blog is all about my needs.

Breaks

Can a company tell you you have to leave your desk for paid breaks? There is not a specified area for these breaks, but we were informed we “can not” stay at our desks for breaks, or for that matter lunch, which is an unpaid lunch. This is a high security facility, and if we are forced to leave our desks for a break in the “lunch room” can we make them find us a place for our breaks. The smokers get special privileges and area for their break. Is there a way we can make them do the same for us non smokers that like to sit at our desks and read ???

In short, yes. I'm not sure, if you are sent to take breaks in the lunch room, why you would need a special break area.

My bet is that your employer has had a problem with employees working during their breaks. People don't generally think that it's a big deal if they answer the phone, answer a co-worker's question or respond to a quick e-mail during break. After all, it's good for business and good not a big deal.

Except, it's a huge deal for the company. If you are a non-exempt employee (overtime eligible) and you do ANY work off the clock the company can be in big legal and financial trouble.

Your company is probably trying to ensure that there is no misunderstanding--when you are on break you are NOT working. If you are "forced" to go to a lunch room for breaks and lunches, there is no way for you to claim, "I always worked through breaks."

You can read in the lunch room.

As for the smokers, well it's pretty obvious that when they are standing outside in the pouring rain, desperately puffing that they aren't working. Just hope they are clocking out before each of their smoke breaks.

Sorry that it's not the answer you wanted.

Your Salary is Not Arbitrary and Capricious

My previous post on salary history generated several comments, two of which are below (both by anonymous posters, by the way).

What planet do you live on?? In a perfect world, people's salaries increase with responsibility. In the REAL world, however, people's salaries can stay the same or increase only slightly because a company's revenues are down the overall budget is tight. Salary history is an inaccurate way to assess the job applicant, because it may reflects corporate situations that the applicant had absolutely no control over.

and

I'd love to see research that connects salary to anything meaningful. It seems to be a poor element to base anything on, despite how convenient it might be to the process.

To address the planet I live on, it's called earth and despite what happens when Ms. Frizzle and the gang go into outer space, it really is the only inhabitable planet in our solar system.

Glad we've cleared that little bit of information up. Now, let's talk about salary. Our second anonymous friend wanted to see salary connected to anything meaningful. I am now going to do that (albeit without putting on a lab coat to be more scientific).

Everyone listen up: Your salary/benefits package is how much your company values you.

That's it. That is what your salary reflects. If they value you more, they'll pay you more. If they value you less, they'll pay you less.

Now, please note that I did not say, "your salary is how much your boss values you." Your boss and your company may have very different value systems. Ultimately, your company wins. Now, granted that value also includes your benefits, such as health insurance, vacation, flex time, etc. But, for the sake of simplicity, we'll use the term salary to encompass all that good stuff.

McDonalds values their CEO more than they value their burger flippers. How do I know this? Their salaries differ by a little bit. As they should. Just about anyone is capable of making hamburgers, but very few people are capable of running a company. If a company loses a good CEO they are in big trouble, as they are hard to replace. But they expect turnover amongst restaurant cooks to be high.

If a company's revenues are down the pool of money for increases will go down as well. Then it becomes even more apparent who is valued and who is not. Trust me when I say there is always SOMETHING available for the super-valued employee. (Extra vacation, flexible schedule, telecommuting--something if financial conditions don't allow for more hard cash.)

Now, sometimes (and I bet our first anonymous poster would argue that the word should be frequently, but I don't think so) the value the company places on you is dead wrong. Slackers get big raises and someone who is actually bringing in money to the company gets nothing but a pat on the back.

This, I think, is a problem HR should help solve. Having strong performance rating criteria (Like the SMART method discussed below) helps to get what should be valued actually valued.

So, if you came to me and said, "I didn't get an increase for 3 years because the company was having a down turn," I would ask these follow up questions:

1. Why did you stay with a company that was doing so poorly you didn't even get raises?
2. What did your company do to show that it valued you?
3. How did you attempt to turn the company around? How successful were you?

Good answers? The company gave me additional stock. With the stock being so low, there was nowhere to go but up. I believed that the company would eventually pull itself out of the slump and my stock would be of great value.

Bad answers? Ummm, I don't know, I thought it would get better.

Now, if you truly believe you are underpaid, ask your boss to re-evaluate your position. You need to point out why the company should value you more than they do.

Now, the world is not fair. Some things are even wrong. Everyone argues that teachers should make more money than movie stars, but the reality is? As long as there are people willing to take the teaching jobs at the salaries being offered that is precisely what they are worth. (Ironically, the unions keep schools from being able to place appropriate values on teachers. Therefore, those that could do better elsewhere leave, and those who couldn't, stay. It's a perverse system that encourages bad performance.)

So, if you didn't get a raise? It means that the company you work for values something else more than they value you. It may be shareholders. It may be paying the electric bill. It may be your co-worker.

Be someone who brings values and (in a relatively free market economy) your value will be worth dollars. If not at your current company, leave. Hit the job market. You'll find out pretty quickly what you are worth.

SMART Objectives

Hi Evil HR Lady,

I need your help!

This will be the first year my company uses SMART approach to do the performance management. As a manager, I am supposed to set up measurable objectives for my subordinates. It's not a problem for me to set up measurable objectives for my assistant managers as they have deadlines to meet. But when it comes to my secretary and the clerical staff, I am not sure how to set measurable goals for them as their duties are very routine and tedious. Could you give me some examples?

First, let's talk about the SMART method. This is where performance criteria are based on the following:

S--Specific
M--Measurable
A--Achievable
R--Relevant
T--Time Frame

The Evil One (who apparently has taken to referring to herself in the 3rd person. She promises this will stop shortly) finds this a downright delightful method of doing performance appraisals and goal setting. (Which should be done in the reverse order, but I find backspacing so tedious.)

It can be difficult to do the first time around. Here's a question that you can ask yourself to help you get started:

How do you know if [insert position]is doing a good job?

As you begin the objective setting process as yourself this question. Then really think about it. Let's see, you know your secretary is doing a good job when he is on time to work, promptly sorts mail, keeps your schedule, arranges teleconferences and travel, produces monthly reports and runs interference when you want to avoid your boss.

Let's do two of these as SMART objectives

First, an easy one--Produces Monthly Reports:

Specific--Secretary will produce Reports A, B, and C

Measurable--Reports A, B, and C will be formatted according to guidelines and contain zero errors

Achievable--yes, reports are standard and not complex, 100% accuracy is possible

Relevant--yes, this goal applies to the job of secretary

Time Frame--reports will be produced by the 5th of each month

Keeps Boss's Schedule--A little more difficult.

Specific--Secretary will schedule meetings, ensure boss's knowledge of such meetings, work with other administrative staff to coordinate schedules. There is a problem here--not specific or measurable enough. Let's try again

Specific (revised)--Secretary will schedule meetings on same day of request and provide written schedule on boss's desk for next day by 5:00 p.m. previous day.

Measurable: Secretary will keep a spreadsheet of meeting request, time requested, and time scheduled to track turn around time. 100% success rate expected. Boss responsible for tracking schedule on desk.

Achievable--No way. Anyone whose ever tried to schedule meetings knows that getting all relevant parties available at the same time is like herding cats. To require a secretary to get all meetings scheduled on the same days as requested would lead to guaranteed failure and your secretary wouldn't like you. Revise the success rate to 75% and then you have an achievable, yet still difficult, goal.

Relevant--Yes. This is a core responsibility and something the secretary should have control over.

Time Frame--Yes. Daily requirements and specific deadlines (same day, 5:00 p.m.)

Hopefully this helps get you started. Just remember--how will you know when this person is successful?

Rehire

Can you help me?

If an employer wants to rehire an employee who had quit and had given written 2 weeks notice but did not comply with finishing the two weeks. Can the employer rehire this employee even if the employee had not completed the resignation agreement as required upon leaving?

Thanks for your help.

Absolutely. An employer can hire anyone legal to work. Why on earth they would want to is another story.

If the employer is absolutely desperate for employees I can see this happening. Otherwise, why hire someone you know isn't reliable? Unless of course, the person's reason for not working the two weeks was that someone had died or ended up in the hospital.

Update

I updated my HR Blogroll. I know I missed some people that I shouldn't have, so there may be revisions. If you believe you should be included, state your case in the comments.

Oops, I Did it Again!

Hello,

I have a question, I applied to a Fortune 500 company with over 50,000 employees. They did a very extensive background check on me and haven't let me know anything as of yet. My start date was due to be July 16th. There was one issue and that was with my degree. Now, my resume was not updated for some time (over a year) which is totally my fault. I had an old projected graduation date of 2006 on there and I never noticed. I looked over the resume before I sent it out, but I had just glanced at the education/qualifications part. I was more focused on overlooking my responsibilities and duties in my current job.

To make a long story short I ended up getting an offer. And at my interview when asked of my education I said I had not completed my degree and I was about 8 classes shy (which reflects in my transcripts from college that I personally sent to the HR department) and also I had to complete an official online application with the company. In that application there was a choice: Not yet received Diploma, HS Diploma, Some College etc etc. I checked the option "Some College" however, when I uploaded my resume it put "Associates Degree + 13 years". I received an email from one of the people conducting the background check asking me to verify my degree

(this is a transcript from his exact email:

I have just about finalized your background
verification...the only item that we were not able to verify is your
associate's degree. If you have a moment, can you fax over a copy of
your degree to the number listed below? That is the last item pending at
this point...Thanks in advance!" )

and I had wrote him: "
I have not completed all of my coursework for my associates degree. I am currently (exactly) half way through. I have 2 semesters to go. When completing my official application with (COMPANY) I had indicated that I completed Some College Coursework. Also, when asked in my interview if I had my degree I had told my interviewer that I did not have it yet and that particular part of my resume had not been updated. I was looking back at the official application I had submitted to (COMPANY) via the online source and I did notice that while uploading my CVV/Resume the computer automatically put "Associates Degree + 13 Years" which is not the case. I did not catch it at the time as I had already answered "Some College" when asked about my Education. I apologize for any and all confusion. I hope that clears everything up."

My question is this: Since they now think I've falsified my degree, is there any way to redeem myself with the company? I have a good source that works at the location I applied to who let me know that it doesn't look too good for me, however they were reviewing my file and there is a small chance I could still get in. (that was as a friend, not an official word from the company) Also, in my interview I was overly prepared with a 30 + page portfolio showcasing all the various skills and work I've put in over the years, which I whole heartedly feel gave me a very large advantage in obtaining the offer and possible position. I am young, adaptable and very knowledgeable in the field in which I applied for. (I am not trying to sound cocky, as I could always stand to learn more and more)

Well, you provided a nice explanation, but unfortunately mistakes like this can cost you. I don't want to be unnecessarily harsh, but PLEASE PROOF READ YOUR RESUME BEFORE SUBMITTING. (No snarky comments about typos in my blog. This is a blog. It is anonymous and I am lazy.)

For you, it wasn't just a matter of not proofreading, but not updating. Even though you made a mistake (and didn't try deceive), it still came back around and bit you in the behind.

Personally, I'd probably recognize it as a mistake, especially if your resume said, "projected" or "anticipated" about the degree. If it just said, "AA Degree, June 2006" I'd be less inclined to believe you.

Let us know if you got the job or not.

Salary History

I have an HR person (probably not evil) insisting that I must provide my salary at each previous employer so they can do a background check before I start. This is all after I've already accepted a written job offer (they asked me to complete an application at the same time they sent me an offer).
I went a head and provided the info because I want the job, but it just strikes me as unnecessary and inane.
Any comments?
Thanks,
Texas Boy

It would be unnecessary if all your fellow job seekers weren't a big pack o' liars. People lie about their titles, their salaries, the companies they work for, their level of responsibility and their degrees (or lack thereof).

So, unfortunately, companies have learned that they cannot trust what a candidate says.

As a matter of fact, the next question I'm going to answer is about a person who "made a mistake" on their resume.

And if your HR person isn't at least slightly evil, you probably don't want to work there. I mean, policies that make sense? Career development? Benefits you actually need? Bah! Who needs it?

Tag, Tag, Tag

I've been tagged. Repeatedly. First by Stephanie Black, then by Simon Meth, the Career Encourager and by Deb.

Stephanie's tag was different than the others, so I will combine. She wanted to know, among other things, what I was doing 10 years ago. Well, this was the summer between undergrad and graduate school. I was working for a pickup truck accessories company, processing orders. I sure learned a heck of a lot about truck bumpers.

Everyone else wants to know 8 random things about me. (Well, not really. What they really want to know is can they have one of the brownies in my picture. The answer is no. They have been eaten.)

1. I already played this game here. Do you people read my blog? :>) (see the smiley face--I love you all!)

2. I am currently wearing an old lady flowered bathrobe procured from Walmart for $5. It's horrendous and I purchased it with the intent to destroy it shortly after it's primary purpose ended, but the Offspring loves it, so I wear it.

3. I cannot hoola-hoop worth beans.

4. Someone contacted me about writing an article for her medical newsletter and I said yes and then I lost the e-mail. If that was you, e-mail me again! evilhrlady at hotmail dot com.

5. If I had grad school to do over again, I'd do an OD degree. I'm glad I did the degree I did because that was how I met my husband, but I wish I knew more about Organizational Development.

6. I got my official PHR scores and I got 91%, thank you very much.

7. I have two degrees in political science and I can no longer stand politics. Right now I can't stand to hear about any of the presidential candidates, let alone support one. Don't they have other jobs? I mean, especially the ones who are currently holding elected office. Shouldn't you be working? If someone from my company were running for president, I'd be having a sit down meeting with him about his excessive absenteeism and offering him the chance to resign.

8. I have about 100 first cousins. My husband has 2. I have more siblings than he has cousins.

I'm not going to tag anyone else because I am just that evil. Happy Tuesday!

The Definitive Job Hunt

Rowan Manahan has started a new writing project called the Definitive Guide to Clearing Job-Hunt Hurdles. I'm happy to be a part of it. I'll post links to the other articles as well.

I have two things to disclose.

I hate job hunting

My area of expertise is more on the firing side than the hiring side.

Okay, firing is a bit dramatic. Mostly I do layoffs. This technically means that the position is being eliminated and it's nothing personal. Of course, it doesn't feel like it's not personal when you are the person being told, "it's not you, it's the company."

Truth be told? In most cases you can avoid being laid off by getting the right job in the first place. In some cases you can do everything (and I do mean everything) right and still get laid off. That's just pure bad luck and I'm really sorry about it. It happens to the best of people and it really stinks.

But let's try to approach your goal of not getting laid off from the job search angle.

First, research the companies you are applying to. What is their history of layoffs? How is their stock (if they are public) doing? If you apply to a company that is in a downward spiral, don't be surprised when you are kicked out the door a year or so later.

Second, find out what your proposed department is doing. How has their productivity and revenue stream been over the past year or so? How is the turnover? Why is the position you are applying for vacant? If there are three positions available in a 10 person department you really want to know why. If those are 3 new positions, great! The department is growing. If three people have quit within the last month, this is a bad sign. Something is wrong in the department.

It could be a bad manager. It could be a new manager and the old guard didn't like the regime change. But, it could be bad things are on the horizon and they wanted to jump ship while there was room on the lifeboat.

Third, make sure you are good "fit." Personality counts in business. (Whether it should or not is another post entirely.) A manager that you see eye to eye with is less likely to lay you off.

Fourth, make sure your position is valued. I have a friend who received an "average" rating at year end. Knowing she had not done average work, she asked her boss for an explanation. "[Your role] isn't important to the department, so I'll never rate you above average." Now, this manager was surely out of line, but that was the reality. You bet that if that manager has to start cutting heads, my friend is the first one out the door.

Fifth, is there room for growth, advancement, and lateral moves? You want a job with room to grow. If you can't grow you'll be plucked before long. It's a sad truth of business.

Sixth, does the department offer developmental opportunities? See above. No development? No career future.

Seventh, can this job be easily outsourced? Some jobs can be. I'm not telling you not to take one, just warning you that it might be. Any job that is strictly transactional is a potential target. IT jobs are particularly vulnerable. A potential solution? Get a job with the vendor. Not saying it's perfect job security (personally, I think the outsourcing craze will end within the next 10 years), but it's a thought.

Hasn't this been a cheery discussion on job searching? Of course, some times you just need a job and a job now that will last a year and provide you severance is better than no job for the next year. Sometimes, the things you can learn from a company will outweigh the risks. Just know the risks.

And hopefully, once safely in your new career, you'll be able to walk by us Evil HR types with confidence-you know that package in my hand isn't for you.

Where to get employees

Hi,

I am Working in an Electronics Security Company as HR Executive. I was in need of new Hirings and tried, Local Consultancies, Newspaper Advertisements, Campus Interviews, Referals and still didn't get a Quality Staff.

(My Product is a Construction Magazine that is Market Leader in South and we are the only company who have Operating Authorities in 5 States in North...we need to Market that magazine in North)

I don't know anything about your industry (publishing), nor do I know your area, but when traditional means of recruiting fail, you need to look around your office.

Who are your successful employees? How did they come to work for you?

Then offer bonuses for employee referrals. Quality employees tend to have quality friends. You say you used referrals, but how much were you willing to pay for a referral?

You may have to go to an outside recruiter, someone who is focused on your industry.

Finally, you may have to think outside the box. You say you are a construction magazine? Have you been looking for people who declare themselves as writers? Or are you looking for people who know the industry and can write? In my experience (as a creative writing minor in college) is that people who label themselves as writers first would know squat about construction.

If you need a construction writer, I bet there are construction blogs. Try contacting one of those people.

Have you gone to trade fairs? You said you went to colleges. Do the jobs you are recruiting for require a college degree?

How is your pay and benefits package? If you are below industry standards you've either got to hire substandard workers or raise up your packages. If you are at industry standards and you still can't meet your recruiting goals, try going above, or adding non-cash perks, such as flextime and telecommuting.

Recruiting is hard. You've got a challenge ahead of you. I hope it works out for you.

A follow up question

Hi, HRLady,

After reading the last entry in your blog, I start wondering what would be your take on my current situation, so here goes a question for you.

I'm working as a contractor for a 100 Fortune company in the US, while I wait for my greencard process to complete.

After 4 months in this position, and a few weeks of going back and forth with my superior about my frustration with the way he delegates tasks to me (no clarity of assignments and no provision of the necessary resources to get to the desired result), I decided to resign.

The only reason I resigned is this direct supervisor, which I think lacks leadership skills (he communicates very poorly his expectations to subordinates and sometimes shows disrespect for them by not letting them know of important changes in a timely manner) and, as already mentioned, doesn't know how to properly delegate assignments to his team.

My resignation has been communicated by my supervisor to his bosses, but I'm staying for two more months so I can finish the work I'm doing and offer some guidance to my replacement before I leave. I'm in a senior support position, and because the business partners I serve like my work a lot, other groups in the same company are now trying to recruit me.

When I am asked by the people interviewing me (inside and outside the same company) why I decided to leave my current position, what should I say? Is it a good answer to say that my supervisor and I had different management styles and I felt I wasn't a good fit for his needs?

Your comments will be highly appreciated.

I believe that interviewing for internal positions is very different than interviewing for external positions. Internally, they already know your work and they know your manager.

I think in this case a very polite, "Bob and I have different styles," would be appropriate. I imagine that the people trying to recruit you already know this--please note, they are after you to join their group, not Bob.

Externally, you've got a more difficult row to hoe. 4 months in a position needs explanation. You may have to say the whole "different styles" thing to explain why you left. Especially since you are working towards your greencard. Does quitting this job make it more difficult to get that greencard?

The problem with leaving a large company after so short a time is that it's difficult to state convincingly, "there weren't any promotional opportunities available" because, really, there are. And if you are looking for positions in a similar industry, with a similar size you probably don't want to give the "I'm looking for a different corporate culture."

So, yes, overall I think you will have to mention the differences in style. But you don't insult your former (current) boss. Don't do that ever. And hopefully your resume has a longer term job prior to this position so you aren't branded as a job hopper.

I bet, though, that you'll get hired internally and you won't have to worry about any short positions.

Good luck!

Questions

Dear Evil HR Lady,

In the past, I have been frustrated with the silly, inane, irrelevant, and insulting questions that some of your HR brethren throw at me. It is almost as if interviews are a game to them and I am a performing chimp, wearing a silly hat and riding a unicycle for their amusement.

How much did you make at your last position? (None of your business.) Why did you leave your last position? (Again, none of your business.) Where do you see yourself in 5 years? (Let me get out my fricking crystal ball...) If you could be any animal, which one would you be? (Ok... I have not really been asked this one. But my response might be, "Your dog...so I could crap on your shoes for asking me such an idiotic question.") Why do you want to work here? (I need a job and you have an opening.) How do other people describe you? (I don't know. I usually do not ask my friends to describe me.) What is one weakness of yours? (I have a low tolerance for stupid bullshit questions.)

Just once I would like to let these interviewers know what I really think of them. The only reason I would ask some of these questions in an interview is to find an independent thinker who would question the relevance of the interview questions. But actually, I would never play games like that because it would be dishonest and disrespectful. The interviewers, on the other hand, have no qualms whatsoever about playing these little mind games. It is hard to psychoanalyze the interviewer and come up with the "right" answer, and I am tired of trying.

Please give me any insight you may have regarding why interviewers would ask questions like these and possibly how to answer them.

Thanks for listening and for your advice.

I'm quite disappointed that I've already used my "Bitter? Party of one?" line in another post. This means instead of being sarcastic and a bit rude (one might say, evil), I'm going to have to answer your questions.

Some interviews are silly, but for the most part, it's the best way people know how to evaluate a candidate. It's actually not a very effective way (in my humble opinion) but the other ways are more difficult and (sometimes) cost prohibited.

But, to get a job, one must interview, and to interview successfully, one must not come across as bitter and angry about the process. Nor should one let on that you think the interviewer's questions are silly.

First up, salary. Now, some would disagree with me on this, but the reason I would ask for your salary history is to determine whether or not this job is a possibility for you. If the job I have pays $40,000 a year and you tell me your current salary is $84,000, I know you won't be interested in going any further. But wait, you say, I want to take a pay cut because I so much want to work for Evil HR Lady! Great. Then say, "I'm looking for jobs in the $35,000-$45,000 range.

And here's where the objections come in--ack, you've played you hand and now you're going to lose, lose, lose. Maybe. Feel free to counter the question with one of your own: What does this job pay?

Why did you leave your last position? This tells me a ton about you. If you go on a rant about how much you hated you boss and how he was a jerk and blah, blah, blah, guess what? You've just eliminated yourself from the slate of candidates! You left it for growth or opportunity? Bah, I know this is what everyone says, but fine. I now know that you aren't stupid enough to boss bash.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Have you even thought about it? What kind of career path do you want? Do you want to head into management or are you comfortable being an individual contributor. How does this particular position play into your future plans? When I'm hiring, I want someone that will be good for the company today and good for the company in 5 years. If I can't fulfill your 5 year plans in my company, maybe you aren't a great fit.

Why do you want to work here? Really, why? Unless you are applying to Burger King, this matters. What is it about [this company] that you want. You better have done your research about the company before you answer this question. (And in the age of the internet, not having at least looked at website is also a career killer.)

Yes, there may be some psychoanalyzing going on, but basically, we're just trying to see if you are a fit for the company and the job. We're not trying to be tricky or mean or demand that you have a crystal ball. We just want to hire the right person.

We want that right person to be you, so stop being angry and stop being crabby and try to think about the interview from the interviewer's viewpoint.

Good luck!

Times Are a Changing

Hi

The email id is sure a misnomer..having followed your blog for many months now, I have to admit, it has completely altered my image of the work done by HR professionals. Often enough, we as employees feel that the sole job of the HR department is to make our lives and jobs more difficult (solely my opinion, can be attributed to the places I worked at..). Now, it doesn't seem the case.

My question to you is:
There has been a lot of debate in the web2.0 space about how social media is changing the roles of media and advertising. As I look at it, the social media scenario is also impacting crucial business functions such as HR and Internal Comm. Would you concur with the above statement? Does it impact the roles of these functions and how? In your opinion, are companies geared to handle this change? With sites like Vault that allow employees to check on organisations and a host of other similar sites that allow potential employees to get an inside look before they join, I believe HR would have to reinvent itself.

I would be grateful for your expert view.

Well, then, it seems I have failed in my duties—HR’s sole purpose is to create paperwork and barriers to success! Plus, we like to count people by race and gender!

Sorry, I forgot non-HR people can read this blog. I’d hate to have our secrets get out.

Social Media and HR? Yeah, it’s made a huge difference. First of all, I’m writing this blog, which lets you in on the inner secrets of HR. (Drat! Now I can’t keep the abysmal failure that is forced distribution performance ratings a secret.)

Secondly, we have to realize that the world has changed. HR has a reputation for being followers rather than leaders (which is the exact opposite of how HR should be. What does SHRM say? Leading people, leading organizations. We should be in front.)

So, now we have to create and enforce e-mail policies and internet policies. We have to decide what we’re going to do about employee blogs. Do we restrict what our employees can say about the company? Do we search facebook and myspace and blogger to look at candidates? What if we don’t search, they tell us? If someone says something controversial on a blog do we not hire them?

And about the information employees now have—salary info is more readily available, reviews about the company, sites like Linked In give you a way to find people who work in the company you are interested—and talk to them before accepting a job.

These are all questions that a few years ago, no one would know about. Your writings in 1985 stayed private unless you managed to get them published. Even being published didn’t make that knowledge easily accessible. Today? Anybody can start a website and put whatever they darn well please out there. Do we punish employees whose private thoughts are now public? Why? Does HR really want to be the thought police? (Answer: Yes. Just kidding! No, we don’t. I don’t. Really, I don’t.)

So, yes, I think social networking et al is something that has changed the face of people management and HR should be in front. If we’re leading people we need to make sure we’re not stumbling along at the back of the line, putting in policies only when a crisis arises.

Carnival of HR #12

Is now up over at Ask a Manager.

I haven't read it all yet, but so far, I'm still laughing at this post about Ask a Manager reading her employee's blog. Heh.

The August 8th Carnival will by hosted by Ann Bares at Compensation Force.

The August 22nd Carnival will be hosted by Wally Bock at Three Star Leadership.

The September 5th Carnival will be hosted by Rowan Manahan at Fortify Your Oasis.

The September 19th Carnival will be hosted by Evil HR Lady at, well, Evil HR Lady.

The October 3rd Carnival will be hosted by Natalie Cooper at Personnel Today.

Rate My Boss

For the record, I love my boss. I really do. She's great. And now that I'm done with my regularly scheduled groveling (in case I get outed), let's talk about your boss.

I got an e-mail from the founder of eBoss Watch, announcing his new website. (I didn't want to list his name because who knows if his boss knows? If he contacts me again and approves the use of his name, I'll include it.)

My gut reaction? I don't like it. The theory is you can rate your boss (good or bad) and then people can look up their potential boss to help make a decision.

The problem is, you don't know the people doing the ratings and there are tons of reasons for the rating to be biased. Getting a low increase or a bad project doesn't mean your boss is bad, it may mean you are bad. But, because you don't know who is doing the rating, you don't know which one it is.

I know the rate-my-professor type sites have been around for a while and I don't like them either. I do training as part of my job and have surveys filled out at the end of each class. Most of the feedback is positive and we implement any good ideas that come through. Once in a while I get a "this class stunk like rotten potatoes" (if you've never smelled those, you are lucky).

Even though the surveys are anonymous (and done electronically, so I can't even look at handwriting), I have a pretty good idea who wrote the survey. It's the woman in the back row, who is taking the class only because she'll get her access to our HRIS cut off if she doesn't. She has spent most of the class surfing the internet and reading her e-mails. Writing e-mails too. (Do you really think the trainer can't tell when you are typing during class? We can. We're just that smart. Plus, she's the same one that has to ask repeated questions because she wasn't paying attention in the first place.)

Those results don't bother me one bit, because they are placed in context of the other results. The problem with E-boss Watch (and similar sites) is that there is no context. I don't know the rater, the rater doesn't know me. I don't know if the rater just got a raise (and therefore is feeling all warm and fuzzy about his boss) or just got fired (and is bitter and angry).

I agree that sometimes you can get blindsided by a bad boss, but I think there are two sides to every story. I want both sides--or at least one of the sides to come from someone I trust.

Carnival Reminder!

I've been out of town and then I had to spend all day yesterday reading the new Harry Potter, so I forgot to post a reminder!

This week's carnival is being hosted at Ask A Manager, so get your submissions into askamanager at gmail dot com.

Fixing Bad Policies

I just started with a small nonprofit organization and one of my tasks is to look at their classifications. The former COO had a soft heart and wanted everyone to be treated equally. Thus, she classified every employee as Exempt. Now I need to go in and make the proper changes. When I asked the Business Manager if any employee puts in OT she says no because the company allows the employee to counter the extra hours with time off. In order to talk to the Management Team about changing their current policy, I need to have a real understanding of the negatives of conducting business in this manner. Who is watching, what are the legal issues to consider?

My first reaction? Yikes.

Now that I've had to think about it, my second reaction is, Double Yikes.

Being a manager is very much like being a parent. It's fine to be a parent and a friend, but when those two roles come in conflict, you always have to pick being the parent.

It may seem "nice" to classify all employees as exempt, but it's nice in the same way letting your child eat all their Halloween candy in one sitting is nice. Fun while it lasts, but the consequences can be huge.

Granted, someone has to turn you in so as long as you are a warm loving group you can get away with it. But, don't count on it.

Possible punishments for misclassifying an employee and not paying overtime when due? (Incidentally, for the most part, it's okay to give comp time instead of overtime IF no more than 40 hours are worked in a week. This means if someone stays late on Monday they need to take that comp time by Friday or you have to pay overtime. You can't save it up.)

Fine of up to $1000 per violation

6 months jail time

initial $10,000 fine for willful violations

Doesn't this sound pleasant?

Think it won't happen to you? In 2006

The Employment Standards Administration's Wage and Hour Division (WHD) recovered more than $171.5 million in back wages for over 246,000 employees in fiscal year 2006. Back wage collections represent a 3.6 percent increase over back wages collected in fiscal year 2005. The number of workers who received back wages in fiscal year 2006 increased by 2.3 percent over the number receiving back wages in fiscal year 2005. The agency concluded 31,987 compliance actions and assessed nearly $7.9 million in civil money penalties.

If you want to be "nice" and classify everyone the same, classify everyone as non-exempt. Otherwise, get your checkbook out.

Days off

Hi Evil HR Lady!

I have a question for you: I am an exempt employee traveling to Australia from CA next week for a conference. The conference starts on a Saturday and goes through Wednesday of the same week. This means I will have to work Saturday and Sunday. Am I allowed to take my weekend on the Thursday and Friday immediately after the conference (its all within the same pay period)? I get conflicting answers at work. Some say its too bad and that I simply lost my weekend. Others say that since I am a salaried employee as long as I work 10 days within any 2-week pay period I should be OK. As you might have guessed I am taking those days off anyways but have been told they will be docked from my pay because I have no more vacation days left. What do you think?

I think your boss is a jerk.

Unfortunately, as an exempt employee you are hired to do a job, not to work by the hour. If the job requires a weekend conference your boss is under no legal obligation to give you comp time. (Reminder, I am not a lawyer. No legal advice here!) However, he's under a moral obligation to do so, and as I said, I think he's a jerk.

Here's some language from the Department of Labor:

Subject to certain exceptions set forth in the regulations, in order to be considered "salaried", employees must receive their full salary for any workweek in which they perform any work without regard to the number of days or hours worked.

So, if he docks your pay when you have a doctor's appointment during the middle of the day, or you get in late or leave early, you can remind show him this paragraph and watch him sputter.

(Please note, for all you slacker types out there who are trying to get away with less work, this does not mean you don't have to show up at work. Part of the job requirement can be that you are in the office for specific times. Additionally, you are almost certainly an at will employee and can be fired at any time.)

And on that cheery note, I better dry my hair and wake up the offspring so I can get to work.

Salary Requests

I live in a major metropolitan city and am currently drastically underpaid, so much so that over the past year I have worked up to 4 jobs at a time. Clearly, this is no way to live a life and short changes my career which I love. I've been able to cut expenses and negotiate raises enough that I merely work 2 jobs now. My combined income over the past year has been $48,000 but I am not living an extravagent lifestye by any means. Housing is very expensive in my city but it's where my career is focused.

After a year at my primary job, I started looking for a new job (for many reasons aside from the salary). I recently interviewed at a great company but their initial salary offer was $40,000. Because of the job's location I wouldn't be able to work enough hours at my part time job to earn that extra $8,000 a year. Their offer is a 4% increase on what I'm currently earning at my primary job but still below industry average (my current salary is 10% below industry average). I've made a counter offer for $45,000K but haven't heard back from them.

I'm wondering if and how I should deal with questions about my current income. Do I need or should I tell them that I've been running myself ragged over the past year to make ends meet? Or is it sufficient to say I need 45,000 to maintain my current standard of living?

Your input is greatly appreciated

Job searching is always unpleasant at best and unfortunately, I have some more unpleasant info to pass on.

First, on the positive side: Everything is negotiable and you did the correct thing in counter offering. From your name on your e-mail I am assuming you are female and women tend to not counter on salary offers as much as men. One of the results of this is lower starting salaries. So, good job!

Now, for the negative. How do you know you are underpaid by 10% in your current job? I ask this because you have job 1 (current) where you state you are underpaid and job 2 (new offer) which is an increase but "still below industry average." If it is then why didn't job 2 offer you a higher amount?

I'm not saying that you aren't correct in your assumptions, I'm just suggesting that what the true market value of the job is the point at which the employee and the employer come together and agree on the salary. If the employer can get someone else with equal skills for the amount they are offering, they aren't underpaying.

As for why you need the money? Unfortunately, companies don't care why. In job searches, it's not about you, it's about them. So, if you tell me you need $45,000 or you can't pay your rent, I'm might cry right along with you, but if that's not in my budget I can't play along.

Are you bound to the city you live in? Lots of jobs are available in cheaper locations. If your chosen career doesn't provide enough income to meet your financial needs you have three choices--1. What you are currently doing, which is supplementing your income, 2. Switching to a higher paying career and 3. Adjusting your standard of living.

I hope they accepted your counter and you get rapid increases and bonuses so you can quit your other jobs and follow the career you love.

Good luck!

Gender Differences

 

This is what happens when fathers play Barbies with their daughters.

I should have known something was going on when they came and asked me where the black markers were.

Book Review: Stress Free Performance Appraisals

Book: Stress Free Performance Appraials: Turn Your Most Painful Management Duty into a Powerful Motivational Tool
Authors: Sharon Armstrong and Madelyn Appelbaum

One out of 8 people would rather go to the dentist than conduct a performance review, according to this lovely book. Given the moans and groans around performance appraisals, I have a hard time believing it's not 7 out of 8 people preferring the dentist.

Although dentistry and performance appraisals are strangely connected. A trip to the dentist can be a nightmare, resulting in drugs, pain, spitting, blood and a huge bill at the end. Or it can be a quick cleaning and discussion with the dentist about his expensive hobbies that you are funding. (Wait, maybe that's just my dentist.) I think to be a better analogy, I better say a quick cleaning and a discussion with the dentist about what you can do to maintain that beautiful smile.

According to Armstrong and Appelbaum, your performance appraisal can go either way--it's all up to the maintenance work done during the year.

The premise is that if managers set up measurable objectives to begin with and then communicate during the year, year end performance appraisals are a snap. By instructing readers to make specific statements regarding these goals they give clear help to the appraisal writer.

Armstrong and Applebaum give numerous examples and follow three employees (an excellent performer, a temporarily struggling employee, and a poor performer) through their appraisals, discussing how to approach each one.

They even discuss how to write and follow a Performance Improvement Plan (which is quite helpful).

After reading it, I do have a question of how best to apply their methods in a company with a forced ratings distribution. (I am assuming here that the average reader is not the person with the power to change that system.) I operate in a forced distribution company and let me tell you, I'm very hesitant to give positive feedback on goals throughout the year because I have very little control over what my employee's final rating will be. (If my boss decides that another group deserves extra high performers my group suffers, regardless of how my people have performed against their objectives, but that's a rant for another day.) If I've documented and discussed performance as exceeding goals all year long and then have to rate an employee average I've just lost all credibility as a manager.

Maybe I can get Sharon Armstrong and Madelyn Appelbaum to come talk to my management...

If you don't have time to read the whole thing, I recommend reading Chapter 7: When Appraisals Go Off Track. They list problems and give sample dialogs to help you navigate any appraisal situation.

Overall, it's helpful for managers who are learning to be better and HR who should know better to begin with. I can't say it lives up to its claim of complete stress free appraisals (it's always stressful to tell someone they aren't doing well), but if we followed their advice we'd have a lot less spitting, drugs, and blood at year end.

Rewards Systems

One of the things that HR is responsible for is implementing rewards systems. We want to reward good behavior and extinguish bad behavior. We implement Balanced Scorecards and pay for performance. We encourage managers to set goals for their employees and then rate them accordingly.

But, what if, rather inadvertently, our rewards system punishes the wrong employees?

California health authorities on Thursday released a study showing for the first time how many heart bypass patients die after surgery, the names of their surgeons and the hospitals where the operations were performed.

Excellent? Right. See the next paragraph:

Surprisingly, the state-mandated survey gave the worst ratings to some hospitals that have been regarded as among the best in the business.

UCSF Medical Center, one of the premier teaching hospitals in the nation, was one of only six hospitals out of 121 in the state awarded a black eye in the survey -- rated "worse" than average in a statistically complicated analysis that counted deaths but gave credit to doctors and hospitals that treat sicker patients.

Most of us HR types don't work in health care, but this can happen in all industries. How many times have you seen someone put on a "special project" and said, "boy, that is going down in flames and taking the poor sucker with it."

I know I've seen it. Many projects that are complex have a high potential for abysmal failure, but if successful can turn a company around. When employees are assigned to a project, we know that they will probably fail, but they might succeed. Our traditional rewards structure would demand that "failure" of the project result in bad things happening to the employees.

As a result of this, people with good potential, great ideas and technical know-how steer clear of such projects. Why take something on that could ultimately end up with being shown the door? The people willing to take it on are those who have nothing to lose. As a result, we end up with failures where we could have had success. And the up and coming stars miss the opportunity to learn the lessons they could learn from such a project.

Make sure you don't structure things such that employees avoid the most difficult work.

(Hat tip: Kevin, MD.